Breastfeeding: My Story

Breastfeeding was (is) supposed to be a wonderful experience. "It's natural." "Babies are born to breastfeed." So many slogans are out there touting the simplicity and benefits. Yes, you sometimes hear horror stories of cracked and bleeding nipples or the dreaded "I didn't make enough milk," but overall, moms are told it will be an easy and convenient process.

What I've learned since having my son? It is anything but.

I planned on breastfeeding from the moment I saw those two lines. I knew the benefits and all of the basics. I mean, IT'S MY JOB to counsel expecting and new moms on breastfeeding. I read the books, I have the license (CLC), I knew it all.

Then my son was born. 8lbs 12oz of screaming, wonderful, joy.

He came out rooting!

His latch was beautiful. What a relief! I had no worries that breastfeeding was going to be anything but easy from then on. He clusterfed all night, which is what I was told is normal (and it is!). We discharged a little over 24hours after he was born.

At his peds appointment the next day, his weight had dropped to 7lbs 15oz. That's about 9%. 10% is considered concerning.

So I kept feeding over the weekend. Every 2.5-3 hours, we'd latch and "feed". On Monday, his weight was still 7lbs 15oz. I was crushed. His pediatrician, bless his heart, tried to be very optimistic and said, "Well he probably lost another ounce or two then gained it back, so that's good!" But he was still a little jaundiced and wasn't having enough output to clear the jaundice, so something had to be done.

Long story short, I started supplementing using and SNS (which I hated) to help J-man gain some weight. I also rented a hospital grade breast pump to help increase my supply. After three weeks of feeding on both sides, measuring supplement, recording intake, pumping, recording output (repeat), I was able to wean him from the supplement and "fully breastfeed."

Somehow, someway, by the grace of God, we breastfed until 10 months when he and I decided it was time to wean.

MILK DRUNK

Here's what I've learned:

Breastfeeding is hard work. Especially for first time breastfeeding moms. Its a learning process for both mom and baby. Just know there will probably be some difficulty in the beginning whether it be supply related (over- or under-), latch related, or baby just not cooperating. Until you both get the hang of it, and your supply regulates, it is anything but dandelions and daisies.

Supplementing is not a defeat. At the end of the day, we have to feed the baby. It doesn't matter how or with what. This was the hardest thing to wrap my head around. Please know that giving your baby expressed breastmilk counts as supplementing! If you produce enough either by pump or hand expression, you can use that to supplement. It doesn't have to be formula. However, if you aren't producing enough at the moment, formula exists. And formula isn't the devil. It will help to keep your baby alive and well. I'm planning to write a post about formula vs breastmilk later because there are MANY, many misunderstandings when it comes to formula.

There are many misconceptions about pumping. There is such a thing as "pump envy". I discovered this as I was struggling to pump an 20ml at each session. Seeing women who pump 8oz per session is enough to send a struggling pumper over the edge! I can't stress this enough to moms: It is average to pump 1-2oz combined during a pump session. Bodies respond differently to pumps. Some women respond very well to a pump. Those are the moms who are pumping bottles at a time! Others, like myself, need to pump multiple times per day to get enough for  bottles. If you're struggling with pumping, I'd encourage you to try and manual pump (I like the Medela Harmony) or hand expression. Many find that they can express double the amount with hand expression than with an electric pump.

Bottle feeding is OK. Yes, nipple confusion can happen. But babies are smart and can be taught to like both the breast and the bottle. If you do have to use a bottle, be sure to use the slow flow nipples. Find the "newborn" nipple, or even the "premature" nipple. When you flip the bottle over, it should barely drip, if at all. Also when feeding, use what is called "Paced Feeding." There is a great article on that here. My son never had an issue going back and forth between the two. In fact, I think having to supplement early on using a bottle made going back to to work easier because I was confident the sitter wouldn't have any issues feeding him.

The "Mom World" is tough. No mother, I repeat, NO MOTHER should ever be made to feel like they are failing their child. It is in our genes to care for these little screaming aliens that we birth and to do everything that we can for them. The Mom World is so incredibly judgmental and mean. I can't help but to feel embarrassed and ashamed by the thoughts passed on forums and the never ending Facebook groups about the cruelty and harm that comes from not breastfeeding your child, or letting them cry, or not putting them down, etc. I hate that I feel included simply because I am a mom. It doesn't matter how we care for our babies because we are still caring for our babies. At the end of the day, if they baby is fed and happy, you are a good mom.

Breastfeeding can be tough. No questions about it. Like my IBCLC told me, Never quit on a hard day. If it is something you want for your baby, you will make it work. It might take some blood, sweat, and tears, but you'll get there mama!



**I believe support is HUGE when it comes to breastfeeding. If you need a breastfeeding friend, feel free to let me know :D

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